He's not entirely sure why his butt has turned into a watermelon.
The Bemused Melophant
Trump's Twin Daughters
I am Donald Trump’s adolescent twin daughters. I am the nice one, but I am the slutty one.
Matt Damon's Nose
Matt Damon is very slowly run over by a car. When the car comes off him on the other side, his nose has been shaved off completely. Also, he has lost three fingers on his left hand.
I Will Handle This
I lift the toilet seat and discover a poop the size of a housecat. I scream. You say I WILL HANDLE THIS and you carry your trident into the bathroom to spear the poop.
Lou Reed and Laurie Anderson are Tall
Lou Reed and Laurie Anderson are freakishly tall. I give them an awkward hug. I tell them how good it is to see them.