We are renting a house by the sea. I hear a scuttling noise from the window. When I pull the curtain aside, I find a two-foot lobster crawling up the windowpane.
When we get back to the boat, I realize that half of our party had been left behind. They have all fallen overboard, and are bobbing around in the water waiting for us. I apologize. They are pretty wrinkly.
You jump into the frozen river. After a minute you climb back out, completely unfazed by the cold. I see that your pants are made Out of flattened AMY'S ORGANIC BURRITO boxes.
We each have a rotting old barn board to float on. Our board flotilla prepares to head out to the island on the clear blue water. You want to put your enormous stuffed penguin onto your board. I argue with you for a while, and then I give up.
You ask me if it is safe to swim - the waves are only 2 to 3 feet high, you were told. I point at the ocean, where the waves are more than 20 feet high, and vicious. I say : IT'S PROBABLY NOT A GOOD IDEA.