Kitchen Toilet
I’M IN HERE! you call out when I knock. I find you sitting on the toilet in the middle of the kitchen. WHAT? you ask.
Jeffrey Dean Morgan in the Bathtub
I attend a performance where the audience walks through an occupied apartment and observes the goings-on. It’s like .. reality theatre. Jeffrey Dean Morgan is in the bathtub. He breaks the fourth wall in order to meet me, and invites me up to his room.
Mystery Underpants
Unmentionables
It takes me forever to pack up all my things. The chambermaid comes in to clean the bathroom. I sing old jazz songs as I pack, and she sings perfect harmonies. I find some underpants that are not mine under the bed, but I decide not to mention them.
Eyebrow
My mother comes out of the bathroom with one enormous black eyebrow drawn on. "HOW DO I LOOK?" she asks
Bathtub Apolcalypse
After the apocalypse, I try to escape the city. I can’t find a boat, so I launch a bathtub into the river. I paddle with my hands, searching for a deserted island. But all the islands have people on them, and I don’t play well with others.