I am trying on a dress someone has given me and I am not sure about it but you are all .. LOOK IT HAS THOSE POCKETS THAT YOU LIKE and I am like HEY YOU’RE RIGHT I LOVE THIS DRESS
Samuel Jackson is Grateful
Once a year Samuel Jackson smokes $14k in crack until his money gives out. I catch him after only a couple of thousand dollars have been spent. We go together to his apartment in New York, where he asks me to hide the remaining $12k. I hide it in the crawlspace above the hall closet, where he tells me they hid Jews during the war. In a gym bag. Samuel is grateful.
Fish Clamp
The water is clear, and we can see dozens of colourful Caribbean fish. You know I am afraid of them, but you convince me to put my hand into the water. When I do, a huge flat fish with yellow eyes and turquoise and red racing stripes bites my hand, and will not let go. I swing my hand up of the water, trailing a rainbow of water droplets and shouting madly. The fish stays clamped on.
Bring Me a Damn Plunger
The toilet is plugged up. I keep yelling to you guys to BRING ME A DAMN PLUNGER but you ignore me.
Kittens vs Slugs
There are tiny black slugs all over the house. They crawl all over you, if you sit still or happen to fall asleep. If you don’t kill them quickly, they grow as big as alligators.
And there is a little black kitten who gets very good at killing slugs. So we get more kittens. It is a kitten-slug killing bloodbath.
The kittens win, in the end.
kittens vs slugs